Advice For Geraldine On Her Miscellaneous Birthday: Poem by Bob Dylan

Stay in line.  Stay in step.  People
are afraid of someone who is not
in step with them.  It makes them
look foolish t' themselves for
being in step.  It might even
cross their minds that they themselves
are in the wrong step.


Do not run

nor cross the red line.  If you go
too far out in any direction, they
will lose sight of you.  They'll feel
threatened.  Thinking that they are
not part of something they
saw go past them, they'll feel
something's going on that
they don't know about.  Revenge
will set in.  They will start thinking
of how t' get rid of you.  Act
mannerly toward them.  If you don't,
they will take it personal.  As you
come directly in contact face t' face
do not make it a secret of how
much you need them.  If they sense
that you have no need for them,
the first thing they will do is
try t' make you need them.  If
this doesn't work, they will tell
you of how much they don't need
you.  If you do not show any sadness
at a remark such as this, they
will immediately tell other people
of how much they don't need you.
Your name will begin t' come up
in circles where people gather
to tell about all the people they
don't need.  You will begin t' get
famous this way.  This, though, will
only get the people who you don't need
in the first place
all the more madder.
You will become
a whole topic of conversation.
Needless t' say, these people
who don't need you will start
hating themselves for needing t' talk
about you.  Then you yourself will
start hating yourself for causing so
much hate.  As you can see, it will
all end in one great gunburst.

Never trust a cop in a raincoat.
When asked t' define yourself exactly,
say you are an exact mathematician.
Do not say or do anything that
he who is standing in front of you
watching cannot understand, he will
feel you know something he
doesn't.  He will react with blinding
speed and write your name down.
Talk on his terms.  If his terms
are old-fashioned an' you've
passed that stage all the more easier
t' get back there.  Say what he
can understand clearly.  Say it simple
t' keep your tongue out of your
cheek.  After he hears you, he can
label you good or bad.  Anyone will
do.  T' some people, there is only
good an' bad.  In any case, it will
make him feel somewhat important.
It is better t' stay away from
these people.  Be careful of
enthusiasm, it is all temporary
an' don't let it sway you.  When asked
if you go t' church, always answer
yes, never look at your shoes.  When
asked what you think of Gene Autrey
singing of hard rain's gonna fall say
that nobody can sing it as good as
Peter, Paul and Mary.  At the mention
of the president's name, eat a pint of
yogurt an' go t' sleep early.  When
asked if you're a communist, sing
America the beautiful in an
Italian accent.  Beat up nearest
street cleaner.  If by any
chance you're caught naked in a
parked car, quick turn the radio on
full blast an' pretend
that you're driving.  Never leave
the house without a jar of peanut
butter.  Do not wear
matched socks.  When asked to do 100
pushups always smoke a pound
of deodorant beforehand.
When asked if you're a capitalist, rip
open your shirt, sing buddy can 
you spare a dime with your
right foot forward an' proceed t'
chew up a dollar bill.

Do not sign any dotted line.  Do not
fall in trap of criticizing people
who do nothing else but criticize.
Do NOT create anything.  It will be
misinterpreted.  It will not change.
It will follow you the
rest of your life.  When asked what you
do for a living say you laugh for
a living.  Be suspicious of people
who say that if you are not nice
t' them, they will commit suicide.
When asked if you care about
the world's problems, look deeply
into the eyes of he that asks
you, he will not ask you again.  When
asked if you've spent time in jail,
announce proudly that some of your
best friends've asked you that.

Beware of bathroom walls that've not
been written on.  When told t' look at
yourself...never look.  When asked
t' give your real name...never give it. 

More free

It doesn't matter anymore. I am not anyone that I thought I was. I'm just not. Although I know I'm better than they are. I know I'm more free.

We both walk the same streets, yes, but their feet are bound by shoes that damage their body and cause them pain. My feet are free and the skin underneath has hardened and serves me well. I wear the wounds on my feet with pride because they are the result of my freedom and I know they will heal. I don't need to spend money on shoes that do nothing but damage and bind me.

In fact I don't need to spend money on anything. Unlike these poor trapped souls, trapped in the concepts of their minds, I am free from the idiotic ideology of Capitalism. Yes, I walk the same streets and carry the same green shopping bag, but I do not pay for my food. Only the ignorant and the trapped pay for their food when every day every supermarket in the country throws away masses of perfectly good food. All I need is access to their dumpsters. And failing this I merely go into the store, place the items in my bag and walk out. Why pay this corporation to bind my brothers and sisters into corporate slavery and food addiction?

Of course I am not addicted to bread and meat like they are. I am a vegetarian and I am not under the illusion that wheat is a viable option for a healthy body and mind. I am more free than them. Instead of paying for cheap industrial wheat bread I enjoy expensive spelt bread for free. I am more smart than them, I know that spelt is an ancient form of wheat that hasn't been industrialised over the years to make it indigestible to the human body. It is also organic and wholegrain. How they feed themselves on this barely edible food-like item called wheat I do not know. They are addicted and despite eating and searching for my organic whole spelt bread compulsively, I am not addicted like them. I can stop anytime I like.

I don't have a car like they do. I don't pollute the planet. I don't support oil companies raping Iraq. I don't send my brothers and sisters hurtling through windscreens so I can arrive a minute earlier than necessary. I'm better than them. I will never own a car. I hitchhike instead. I am more free than they are because I don't believe the propaganda saying that hitchhiking is dangerous and you will be murdered if you participate in it. This is obviously not true and only the ignorant and the slaves to television believe it. I can go anywhere I like because I am free.

I can sleep in the park because I have a tent in my bag. I don't need money to pay for accommodation. I can sleep in a cave on the beach if it rains. I can stay up as late as I want eating huge mouthfuls of expensive food that the most hard-working wage-slaves can't even afford. They can't afford it because a refrigerator on hire purchase is a priority over the food that sustains their body. They can't afford it because they choose to not be free, like me.

Sometimes I sit under my temporary shelter with my warm cheap sleeping bag looking at their cars driving past and I pity them and their ignorance. They don't even know they're not free. They can't bear the silence; I'm guessing they all have their radios on inside those expensive air-conditioned cars. They're listening to that music that they're supposed to like and eventually decide they do like, just because they listen to it so often they may as well like it. They're pretending to not pay attention to the advertising but of course they can't help it.

I can't stop thinking about these people and how much more free I am than they are. It is fair? Why am I so free and they are so not? What catalyst broke me awake from this over-fed indigestible sleep of an entire childhood of religious capitalistic authoritarian weakening education? I want to burn the schools that enslave my brothers and sisters but I can't be bothered. I ate too much avocado and rye bread. If I could bomb every school in the world maybe there would be another person sitting here beside me in this park in the rain in the night looking at cars and silently judging them. This moral superiority doesn't feel as good as it used to. I know I need to read some more books and expand my mind further and find other ways of judging people. I am bound in my own world of limits and I carry on my back everything I own and it is only a single kilogram too heavy.

If only I was free enough to throw away that extra kilogram. If only I was free enough to know exactly which items are superfluous. If only I was better than I am, like I'm better than them.