What I happen to notice

I suppose I am supposed to follow the guidance of the universe.  This is more simple than it sounds.  When I find myself in a surprising and delightful place, perhaps there is a reason for me being there.  Perhaps it is not accidental that I find myself here.  I do try to think about these things.  Often the most irrational and exciting messages can be much more useful than obvious factual ones.  The causality of our world, we now know, is an infinitely complex collection of influences not at all bound by time and locality, which we consider absolutes.  We can at any moment be affected by an influence far far away that otherwise appears to be unconnected.  We can received influences from the future or the past as easily as we can from the present because modern science and intuition will tell you that the future and the past do not exist; obviously.  When attention is given to the subtle things in life, the irrational things and the possible meaningless things that may in fact be more meaningful than anything logical, I happen to enrich my life immeasurably and I also tend to feel much more well informed.  I am mostly completely ignorant and now that I recognise this I am much more inclined to take information, however unreliable, from a variety of sources, not just the newspapers.  In fact I am much more inclined to believe my dreams than the newspaper; maybe I am an idiot, maybe I simply don't trust the editorial process.  I don't trust censorship and the limits that capitalism places on honesty and expression and sensitivity.  I find that one must choose their level of sensitivity relatively consciously.  We can regulate it easily by the amount of cigarettes smoked and wheat eaten.  The more sensitive one becomes, the more she will notice about the world she finds herself in.  Depending on the environment one chooses to live in, a certain degree of insensitivity, a degree of disconnection from the self and the world, is necessary in order to survive and not be overwhelmed or confined to a mental institution.  Luckily we are relatively free, especially if we stop watching TV, and we can easily choose our environment and regulate our sensitivity to the subtleties of the world to suit that environment and our degree of desire to know what is really going on.  It seems we all have a powerful psychic potential, but I personally don't have a great deal of experience in that area.  I just pay attention to what I notice and try to make sense of it.

I'm living like this and I'm okay

How long can one immerse himself in the doldrums of domesticity?  How long before he must break free and find his destiny like a real man?  After a period of stasis is continuity possible, or does he have to begin again?  There was a young man once, who broke free from the chains he thought he was wearing only to find that their nature is psychic, they had no physical weight.  He literally stepped out onto the road thinking he would surely need some sort of organisation to protect him from the chaos of the universe and finding that he could simply hold out his thumb and he could get a ride anywhere.  He found that on his way along the road he forgot what he thought his destination was and began to follow and enjoy the synchronicities that would guide him through his days.  He met people who surprised him by not fitting anywhere into his prejudicial hologram of the world.  He began to appreciate any person or experience that would contradict his current limited perspective of the world.  He began to appreciate his ignorance of all things.  There seemed to be a greater force at work that he would notice clearly at his most sensitive moments.  He called this force God for  while, but then stopped.  This was like discovering one of the natural forces of this world, like gravity.  Though he did not credit himself with the thought that he was the first to discover this force.  He tried to mostly live but he also spent time wondering why most forms of human life were attempts at control when this profound force was so powerful and required nothing but submission.  He wondered what could possibly be achieved by the extremely complex and exhausting combination of a massive sprawling global capitalist structure to provide more than everything one needs and the responsibility and restriction of a career that provides one with the capital to satisfy this massive mother structure.  It seemed like a lot of work for a lot of people when it would be so much easier to just submit.  If he and many others knew about this force that he tried to think of a good name for, why all this exhaustion?  He noticed there were large groups of people who collectively described a remarkably similar force to the one he experienced and called it "God" although they too did not seem to be in touch with the reality of the force he had experienced because despite their words they were clearly setting up complex structures of control in defiance of any divine force that is real or unreal, God or not God.  The more relaxed he felt in this world and the more he sought out environments in which he could really relax, the easier it became and the more ignorant he became of the reasons why those around him were desperate to maintain some illusion of control over their own lives at least, if not some country or some group of employees.  It looked so difficult to him and he wondered whether he was just lazy or whether it really was all a waste of time.  There wasn't much he could see that he wanted that was not provided for him easily.  He was told he is special, not everyone can live like that because if everyone was giving there wouldn't be enough to go around.  But he noticed more and more people were getting into the habit of giving and he was not worried that this tendency was not more widespread cos that merely reassured him that it is not a fad.  Okay, he thought, maybe I have something divine to offer for this perpetual kindness, maybe I can just do the dishes.  Either way, I'm living like this and I'm okay.