Naked and spectacular

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I'm living like this and I'm okay

How long can one immerse himself in the doldrums of domesticity?  How long before he must break free and find his destiny like a real man?  After a period of stasis is continuity possible, or does he have to begin again?  There was a young man once, who broke free from the chains he thought he was wearing only to find that their nature is psychic, they had no physical weight.  He literally stepped out onto the road thinking he would surely need some sort of organisation to protect him from the chaos of the universe and finding that he could simply hold out his thumb and he could get a ride anywhere.  He found that on his way along the road he forgot what he thought his destination was and began to follow and enjoy the synchronicities that would guide him through his days.  He met people who surprised him by not fitting anywhere into his prejudicial hologram of the world.  He began to appreciate any person or experience that would contradict his current limited perspective of the world.  He began to appreciate his ignorance of all things.  There seemed to be a greater force at work that he would notice clearly at his most sensitive moments.  He called this force God for  while, but then stopped.  This was like discovering one of the natural forces of this world, like gravity.  Though he did not credit himself with the thought that he was the first to discover this force.  He tried to mostly live but he also spent time wondering why most forms of human life were attempts at control when this profound force was so powerful and required nothing but submission.  He wondered what could possibly be achieved by the extremely complex and exhausting combination of a massive sprawling global capitalist structure to provide more than everything one needs and the responsibility and restriction of a career that provides one with the capital to satisfy this massive mother structure.  It seemed like a lot of work for a lot of people when it would be so much easier to just submit.  If he and many others knew about this force that he tried to think of a good name for, why all this exhaustion?  He noticed there were large groups of people who collectively described a remarkably similar force to the one he experienced and called it "God" although they too did not seem to be in touch with the reality of the force he had experienced because despite their words they were clearly setting up complex structures of control in defiance of any divine force that is real or unreal, God or not God.  The more relaxed he felt in this world and the more he sought out environments in which he could really relax, the easier it became and the more ignorant he became of the reasons why those around him were desperate to maintain some illusion of control over their own lives at least, if not some country or some group of employees.  It looked so difficult to him and he wondered whether he was just lazy or whether it really was all a waste of time.  There wasn't much he could see that he wanted that was not provided for him easily.  He was told he is special, not everyone can live like that because if everyone was giving there wouldn't be enough to go around.  But he noticed more and more people were getting into the habit of giving and he was not worried that this tendency was not more widespread cos that merely reassured him that it is not a fad.  Okay, he thought, maybe I have something divine to offer for this perpetual kindness, maybe I can just do the dishes.  Either way, I'm living like this and I'm okay.


The Post-Economic Environment

I am an optimist.  I don't intend to be that way, that's just how it turns out.  I am intelligent and I think a lot about things and optimism just makes sense to me.  I could enslave myself within a life that does not support, enrich or excite me, that would surely defeat my optimism, but I'm not interested.  Instead I live the life that offers me the most value, the most beautiful present and the most exciting future. 

I am dismayed sometimes by abstract institutions like economy, but any brief analysis of the economy clearly highlights its perilous position.  This is why I am an optimist.  It is obvious that the economy will collapse.  This is inevitable.  The economy is only programmed for one thing: growth at the expense of all else; it is willing to take out anything for this purpose, including itself.  It has collapsed before, under its own weight and too many layers of abstraction; only last year in fact it was artificially supported by large influxes of money from the governments.  It will happen again and it will happen worse and maybe this time the governments won't have enough money to pump into it to stop the middle sinking in like a disturbed cake that will never rise again. 

I know this all sounds very optimistic; the economy will survive, you say, it will come back and be strong again.  Whether I have explained my reasons well or not I think that it won't.  I think that very soon we will enter a Post-Economic Environment in which different lifestyles will predominate.  The rich will realise suddenly that they no longer have any power whatsoever and that in fact all along they have been completely dependent because now they have no idea how to look after themselves.  Like only the infants in the animal kingdom they have no idea how to feed themselves.  However, the poor who live off the earth, who eat from the soil and from the trees and from the ocean, will have the power over their own lives that the rich have lost.  As Jesus and Bob Dylan said, "Many who are first will be last, and the last will be first." 

I guess the times are changing and in this post-economic environment we will take the emphasis off the abstraction of money and place importance on resources.  How could greed exist in this environment?  There is of course never enough money, but in the post-economic environment we realise that the reality of our resources is abundance.  One family with one tree are abundant in apples.  One man with one fishing rod who loves to fish all day is abundant in fish.  Anybody with a house is abundant in shelter and rather than protect her house from the others, who need to steal to get more money, she is able to share her space with anyone who offers consideration and friendship in return.  This is a gift economy where generosity is the normal reaction, rather than greed, because there is too much.  The only indication of wealth is of course how much you have to give away.  And the result is not anxiety at the possibility of loss, but the comfort of friendship and the knowledge that even if you lose everything there will be someone nearby to offer you a meal and a warm bed; and maybe even some love. 

As an optimist, I don't see this as a future possibility, I see this as a present reality.  And it seems to be growing exponentially, as is the economy, but one sustains life and one restricts life, one is sustainable and one is unsustainable.  Only time and your actions will tell which is which.


Imagine being here right now

2010 is on its last quarter and who could have predicted such a year of intense change and novelty.  Who would have thought that the world would so intensify and speed up as it has done?  Who would have thought that the whole world would just open up as it did?  Is it just me?  Was this an entirely subjective experience?  Was I simply sensitive enough to experience it?  Did I happen to place myself in situations in which I was able to notice it and respond to it?  Whatever the answer, this year has opened up our world in a way that was inconceivable even 12 months ago.  What are the consequences of this new world we live in?  Anything is possible, as always, but the sphere of possibility has expanded and more people are dropping the comfort and illusory security of their accumulations to explore and share this sphere with the other forms of life who happen to be present.  There are mild forms of organisation which bring many people together temporarily to intensely experience this new direction and there are many friendships in which the same thing can happen on a smaller scale.  It is possible that a friend or two visiting your home and your life allows the possibility of a small-scale festival of joy.  I can't think of anything better to celebrate than joy.  I can't imagine anything better to pursue than friendship and the love embedded in it and the profound beauty in every atom of these beings who share this friendship with me.  Perhaps it is only possible to ramble about something so indefinable.  Perhaps something beyond language cannot be talked about and any attempt to do so is destructive.  Perhaps something that is not present in this physical dimension cannot be talked about in our physical language despite being so strongly experienced by these physical beings called humans who are so dependent on this language that tends to limit us to what we already know and therefore already have a word for.  It is hard to share something new when first the word must be created, learned and published in the dictionary.


Convenience and control

And today I sit inside in the rain in the early morning remembering little of my dream in which I watched it raining inside.  Why does it not rain inside?  What are we trying to protect ourselves from?  Every day is the same inside.  I have complete control over the environment, so I am able to stabilise, micromanage, confidently predict the outcome of every day.  It's convenient.  I know what to expect.  Because only the right people are allowed inside I know exactly who will be in my life each day, no intrusion by unwanted strangers who may challenge or disturb me in some way; who may move me to do something out of my plans, something unexpected.  If I want to surprise myself or move out of my comfort zone, I of course need to plan it first; otherwise I won't be ready and then who knows what could happen.  It is very important to me that this all stays nice and calm and that I am not challenged by anything that is too real for television.  Television is a good companion because I know that everything on it stays safely below a certain level and I need not worry about being surprised by it.  If I want something else I am free at any moment to walk out into the unknown, into the rain even; though why would anyone walk out into the rain, they would only get wet, and noone wants to get wet.  I want to stay in here where it is dry and I have internet access and television and all my food preserved in the fridge and the freezer.  I live in the 21st century and so have everything I need to survive.  I have convenience and I have control, what more is there?  What more is there?


My new friends everywhere

I don't care what people think of me; usually.  I don't need their love; until I find myself alone.  I don't want to be dependent on other people who may or may not resent my vulnerability.  Some people open up to me and I allow them to expose the beauty of their soul for as long as they desire, all I can promise is that I will witness and protect their perfection.  And then it is time for me to go; practicality takes over and I must leave my favourite beautiful person to go somewhere I am alone and have no purpose.  I do not understand sometimes why I make the decisions I do in life, leaving behind those souls who are most open and most beautiful to me.  I seem to have a profound effect on those willing few who I then go and dessert at their time of most sensitive exposure.  I call it necessity but suspect the problem is in my ability to commit to these people who are conveniently all over the world and therefore I leave behind for long periods one lot to be with the other.  The contradiction of my life is that I spend my life searching, to be close to others while in the process taking myself away from those I am closest to.  I have visions of a future in which I own a holy hilltop home where there is land for all my angels from all over the world to come and stay with me as long as they want.  This land will home us all and sustain us with its fruit and vegetables and seafood.  We will live together as we see fit, free from the cultural baggage of our heritage.  Until then I can only work and dream of returning to those I feel are currently most in love with me and holding them in whatever form presents itself.  Sometimes I want to hold my friend in bed all night long, sometimes I want to look my friend in the eye and see their everything, sometimes I want to use our shared language to penetrate the insanity of each others' psyche and hopefully diffuse the seriousness of a world that doesn't really exist and is certainly not as real as the beautiful intensity of this moment we are sharing silently.