Naked and spectacular

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2010-09-25

Convenience and control

And today I sit inside in the rain in the early morning remembering little of my dream in which I watched it raining inside.  Why does it not rain inside?  What are we trying to protect ourselves from?  Every day is the same inside.  I have complete control over the environment, so I am able to stabilise, micromanage, confidently predict the outcome of every day.  It's convenient.  I know what to expect.  Because only the right people are allowed inside I know exactly who will be in my life each day, no intrusion by unwanted strangers who may challenge or disturb me in some way; who may move me to do something out of my plans, something unexpected.  If I want to surprise myself or move out of my comfort zone, I of course need to plan it first; otherwise I won't be ready and then who knows what could happen.  It is very important to me that this all stays nice and calm and that I am not challenged by anything that is too real for television.  Television is a good companion because I know that everything on it stays safely below a certain level and I need not worry about being surprised by it.  If I want something else I am free at any moment to walk out into the unknown, into the rain even; though why would anyone walk out into the rain, they would only get wet, and noone wants to get wet.  I want to stay in here where it is dry and I have internet access and television and all my food preserved in the fridge and the freezer.  I live in the 21st century and so have everything I need to survive.  I have convenience and I have control, what more is there?  What more is there?

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