When we can say goodnight and stay together

Only once in my life have I fantasized about someone in their absence and then returned to them and discovered that they are actually more beautiful than I had remembered and even more beautiful than I can imagine.  I try to hold his image in my head now and all I experience is a yearning in my gut.  I try to love him from the other side of the planet but I need to hold him in my arms all night.

I remember the first time I met him, sitting on a rock talking to my friend.  He spoke to me so quietly and he was saying things that were interesting and I wanted to hear, so I was forced to move closer and closer to his body until I was beside him and I could hear fine.

What I wanted was to become so close that my desire was physically impossible.

I was so surprised to discover after a month away that he is more beautiful than I had remembered.  I didn't think this was possible.  Now, after three months away, I can't even imagine the beauty I will be confronted with upon my return.  I can't imagine what it will feel like to discover those arms and eyes like the first moment when all I wanted was to hear the clear stream of his voice.

We shared three weeks of casual delight and one infinite night without a future and I guess this is a lot.  I look forward to the possibility that there is somewhere I know that I can go where a beauty profound beyond description may be there to welcome me, but I also appreciate my precious memories and realise that everything else is fantasy until I am back and the door is swinging open in front of me.