Naked and spectacular

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Another day

Because the Queen chose to be born today 1000 years ago my local library was closed and I have had to cycle all the way into the city to be able to use a computer.  That could be potentially annoying.  As I cycle down Royal Parade through all the European trees dropping their yellow leaves on the street the reality of my environment strikes me.  I wait at the traffic lights and see a crazy filthy bird hopping all over the street.  I feel a sudden spell of appreciation for this bird's existence.  Amidst all this construction, abstraction, planning and post-human life there is a economically useless wild bird hopping about the city.  As unremarkable as the beautiful yellow leaves falling.

The world still exists.  The world has not ended.  There is still wilderness tentatively surviving the colonisation of concrete.  I have so much gratitude for the birds, trees, and wild animals inhabiting our city.  What a desolate world it would be if we really could eradicate the bats and rats.  How can I be angry at this extra ride into the city for some stupid public holiday when I am gifted the opportunity to appreciate my world.  I decided right then to acknowledge that bird - a pest? an invasive species? - as soon as I got to the library.

As I rode further some unseen bird shat on me from above.  It's black, white and translucent shit hit my hand and splashed onto my clothes.  I was not angry.  I figured I'd just go straight to the toilets and wash it off when I got to the library.  Where is my uncontrollable rage today?  The intensity of my fluctuating emotional state has lately caused the slightest disappointment, frustration or loneliness to send me into rage or despair.  But today I feel calm and focussed.  Are my emotions so arbitrary?  Are they moving through me with greater ease?

I feel peace, though my life is no more meaningful than it was yesterday.  My life is no more productive, successful or connected.  I have nothing to do and no one to meet today, nor tomorrow.  But my body is a smooth, unobstructed stream of energy, moving calmly towards the ocean.

I am prepared for further surges of the intense hopelessness that have been moving through me lately.  But today I rest in simple peace.  Today I love all the beings I share this earth with, human and non-human, plant and animal.  I will rage against the meaningless abstractions imposed upon this world another day.

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